Dating Tips
Occasionally I allow various men to take me out for expensive dinners. I believe this ritual is called ‘dating’. After having gone on 3 of these so called ‘dates’ I realized that it was starting to look a lot like that ‘how to lose matthew mc -no idea how to spell his last name- in 10 days’ movie. Synopsis below.
#1) Great first date, followed by kiss on cheek goodbye
#2) When asked to meet up with him to watch the game drink scotch heavily instead of beer, and talk about ex bf
#3) allow him to kiss me, but physically shove him out of my house when i’ve had enough
#4) blow him off all weekend
#5) suggest drinks at the club, when the waitress comes to take my order i ask for a wine and then say ‘but you’ll have to put it on his account because i’ve been… (run finger across throat in ‘cut off’) motion
#6) in addition to complaining about my job the whole time, i manage to slip in a quick yet angry rant about feminism, tell him of my illegal money making schemes and allow him to kiss me on the cheek goodbye
funny thing is, i think he’s really smitten.
